Layton Brooks, the main character in Living Between the Ditches: When God Makes No Sense, wrestles with one of the main worldview questions, Why am I here? You may be familiar with these worldview questions such as
1. Where did I come from?
2. Why am I here?
3. What went wrong with the world?
4. Where am I going when I die?
In Layton's pre-divorced world, his answer to question #2 was getting ahead in his career and thus providing for his family. He would have told you that his family came first; as events unfold, the reader and Layton are forced to conclude that his life was more about career than family. Amy didn't feel she and Brianne were in first place—quite the opposite. Her feelings of neglect, and later abandonment, played a huge role in the break-up of their relationship.
However, both Layton and Amy were off track. Putting each other first wouldn't have solved their personal problems. Finding meaning in life is only partially related to finding someone to share life with. Meaning for life derives from a more basic and instinctual need than human companionship.
In order to put their relationship back together, Layton and Amy first have to put God in first place. A meaningful married life starts with God at the apex of the triangle. As each spouse inches closer to God from the other two sides of the triangle, they grow closer to each other as well. One of the pair climbing toward God while the other hangs back doesn't produce closeness. This triangle looks more like a window blind pulled up on one side but not the other—out of kilter, lop-sided, angled.
Whether married or single, empty-nested or childless, or having a quiver full of children—our relationship status isn't the predictor of happiness or meaning. Layton had to deal with the paradoxes we all face: is God an essential component of life, unnecessary, or an add-on; is He knowable or unknowable; can we make sense of Him?
Read the book to see how Layton deals with these questions and what conclusions he reaches. Meanwhile, keep living between the ditches!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
On Fish and Forgiveness
I have a book signing Friday night in a local mall bookstore. Copies of Living Between the Ditches: When God Makes No Sense will be stacked neatly on a table. I hope it goes better than my first signing (see “Signatures and Statues” from the June, 2009, archives). Like most authors on these occasions, I will smile when browsers look at me as though I were a fish in an aquarium and then walk away.
“Wait,” I will want to yell after them. “Do you know I spent three years of my life writing this book? Do you know how many edits each chapter went through? I’ve poured my life into this paperback you’ve so casually dismissed! Come back here!”
Disrespect. Don’t you just hate it when something you value gets “dissed?” We all have hot buttons that easily get pushed, whether it’s about politics, religion, vocations (Did you hear the one about the only lawyer in heaven …), race or ethnicity—the list goes on. There’s a saying, “The older you get, the fewer people you have to respect.”
Some of our touchiness can be blamed simply on pride. We hate to appear fallible or clumsy or uninformed. Layton, the main character in my book, doesn’t want to admit that his assumptions about his ex-wife might be flawed. Amy, for her part, can’t seem to find a way to ask for forgiveness.
Asking for forgiveness takes a certain amount of humility. But so does accepting someone’s apology. We must give up the right to hurt feelings, holding the matter over his or her head, using it for ammunition in future conflicts, or feeling sorry for ourselves. Layton is so accustomed to all of these devices and defenses, he hardly knows what he would do without them.
What about you? Do you easily forgive a sincere apology? Read about what it took to bring Layton to that point. And if you’re looking for my book, catch me in the mall. I’ll be the purple fish with yellow stripes smiling back at you.
Keep living between the ditches!
“Wait,” I will want to yell after them. “Do you know I spent three years of my life writing this book? Do you know how many edits each chapter went through? I’ve poured my life into this paperback you’ve so casually dismissed! Come back here!”
Disrespect. Don’t you just hate it when something you value gets “dissed?” We all have hot buttons that easily get pushed, whether it’s about politics, religion, vocations (Did you hear the one about the only lawyer in heaven …), race or ethnicity—the list goes on. There’s a saying, “The older you get, the fewer people you have to respect.”
Some of our touchiness can be blamed simply on pride. We hate to appear fallible or clumsy or uninformed. Layton, the main character in my book, doesn’t want to admit that his assumptions about his ex-wife might be flawed. Amy, for her part, can’t seem to find a way to ask for forgiveness.
Asking for forgiveness takes a certain amount of humility. But so does accepting someone’s apology. We must give up the right to hurt feelings, holding the matter over his or her head, using it for ammunition in future conflicts, or feeling sorry for ourselves. Layton is so accustomed to all of these devices and defenses, he hardly knows what he would do without them.
What about you? Do you easily forgive a sincere apology? Read about what it took to bring Layton to that point. And if you’re looking for my book, catch me in the mall. I’ll be the purple fish with yellow stripes smiling back at you.
Keep living between the ditches!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Living Between—NOT! Part 2
In part 1 of this post I explained that living between the ditches isn't some imaginary balance between the two paradoxes. Such a view would be luke-warm—and you know how God likes that (Rev. 3:16). We must embrace God as both knowable and mysterious. (If you're confused by that, read the book!)
A second misconception would be a middle-of-the road kind of get-along, go-along personality. But no! Living between the ditches is full of passion. Listen for the warmth and emotion in the tone of someone who has spent a great deal of time in God's presence. Observe the facial expressions of those lost in the wonder of creation. These are people for whom even the mention of God lights their faces.
Many of us who enjoy driving to work with Christian radios booming find ourselves singing—or at least humming—the great melodies of praise that are the bedrock of their business. "You are holy, God of wonder and majesty." Who could listen to that song with a humdrum ho-hum-ness? Praise songs are almost impossible to hear without moving some body part. They evoke passion.
Approach God with a holy awe and He'll wholly amaze you!
A second misconception would be a middle-of-the road kind of get-along, go-along personality. But no! Living between the ditches is full of passion. Listen for the warmth and emotion in the tone of someone who has spent a great deal of time in God's presence. Observe the facial expressions of those lost in the wonder of creation. These are people for whom even the mention of God lights their faces.
Many of us who enjoy driving to work with Christian radios booming find ourselves singing—or at least humming—the great melodies of praise that are the bedrock of their business. "You are holy, God of wonder and majesty." Who could listen to that song with a humdrum ho-hum-ness? Praise songs are almost impossible to hear without moving some body part. They evoke passion.
Approach God with a holy awe and He'll wholly amaze you!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Living Between the Ditches — NOT
As I passed a coworker's desk, she brightened and said, "Living between the ditches!" Having read my book, she was using my "code words" to describe how she was coping with her everyday (and some extraordinary) struggles.
What does it mean to live between the ditches? If you haven't read my book, here's a brief re-cap: The Christian life is often described as a journey. Jesus said we're on a narrow road heading to God's house. Paralleling the road, in my experience, are spiritual ditches. We can easily find ourselves stuck in one or the other of these ditches, or we can bounce between them like the proverbial rubber ball. These ditches represent the extremes of biblical paradoxes.The one I explore in this first book is
What does it mean to live between the ditches? If you haven't read my book, here's a brief re-cap: The Christian life is often described as a journey. Jesus said we're on a narrow road heading to God's house. Paralleling the road, in my experience, are spiritual ditches. We can easily find ourselves stuck in one or the other of these ditches, or we can bounce between them like the proverbial rubber ball. These ditches represent the extremes of biblical paradoxes.The one I explore in this first book is
We can know God. God is mystery.
Both ditches contain truth, and both are true at the same time (a paradox). But if we insist on living out of one truth without considering the other, we forfeit progress on the road to our heavenly home. Living between the ditches represents the balance intended by God for living in the light of His revealed truth.
During the year I've found two interpretations of my key concept which are NOT true.
1. Balance (living between the ditches) doesn't mean a middle ground between the paradoxical truths. Certainly, we're not to live as though we might know some of God and we might not know other parts of Him—sort of half-way knowing Him. ALERT! To know God is to experience a relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ, whose death on the cross provided a bridge between sinful mankind and a holy God. Knowing God through Christ is a sure thing, not 50 percent of a sure thing. We can know God personally in an intimate relationship that's is so rewarding Paul said it was worth joining in His sufferings!
The "ditch" here is settling into a comfortable, chatty relationship with God in your back pocket, so to speak. This characterization—or familiarization—of God reduces Him to a puppet reacting to our string pull. Then when something "bad" happens, we have the "right" to withdraw our support because God didn't come through for us. If you find this thinking far-fetched, check with some of your acquaintances who've stopped coming to church. Chances are they blame God for some misfortune.
When we balance our personal relationship with God with His mystery as creator and sustainer of the universe, life becomes less about us and more about Him. This view takes away our narcissism and replaces it with a holy awe. We worship God, not ourselves; we live for His pleasure, not He for ours. In this mystery, we find fulfillment. Trust abounds in the arms of One so worthy of trust.
Stay tuned for part 2 of LBD—NOT!
During the year I've found two interpretations of my key concept which are NOT true.
1. Balance (living between the ditches) doesn't mean a middle ground between the paradoxical truths. Certainly, we're not to live as though we might know some of God and we might not know other parts of Him—sort of half-way knowing Him. ALERT! To know God is to experience a relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ, whose death on the cross provided a bridge between sinful mankind and a holy God. Knowing God through Christ is a sure thing, not 50 percent of a sure thing. We can know God personally in an intimate relationship that's is so rewarding Paul said it was worth joining in His sufferings!
The "ditch" here is settling into a comfortable, chatty relationship with God in your back pocket, so to speak. This characterization—or familiarization—of God reduces Him to a puppet reacting to our string pull. Then when something "bad" happens, we have the "right" to withdraw our support because God didn't come through for us. If you find this thinking far-fetched, check with some of your acquaintances who've stopped coming to church. Chances are they blame God for some misfortune.
When we balance our personal relationship with God with His mystery as creator and sustainer of the universe, life becomes less about us and more about Him. This view takes away our narcissism and replaces it with a holy awe. We worship God, not ourselves; we live for His pleasure, not He for ours. In this mystery, we find fulfillment. Trust abounds in the arms of One so worthy of trust.
Stay tuned for part 2 of LBD—NOT!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Happy Birthday, Nathan and LBD!
I have a hard time believing my grandson Nathan is a year old. But then I also have a hard time believing my book is a year old. There is a connection: Nathan was born a few days before his due date and right in the middle of my final edit of the publisher's copy than was going to print about a week later! Thus Living Between the Ditches: When God Makes No Sense and Nathan Andrew Hassler will forever be linked in my memory. Nathan is now walking, running, sliding, climbing ... and the book is taking baby steps toward its audience. But that's what you get with self-publishing—a lot of control but not much marketing!
This blog has been my diary of sorts, charting the book's birth, story line, and character development. I've had time to reflect more on my journey into the paradox of "We can know God. God is mystery." I'm more firmly convinced than ever that you can't have one truth without the other.
I recently read a brief testimony by Ravi Zacharias, well-known author and biblical apologist from India. He became a Christian through hearing one sentence spoken by Jesus and recorded in the Bible. When he heard Jesus' words, he knew he had heard Truth (Jn. 8:32). I'm continually amazed that people all over the world hear a sliver of the gospel message and have a transformational experience with God. For example, a Vietnamese Christian became a believer because he was cleaning toilets in a prison. One of the guards had received a Bible and was tearing out its pages, using each one as toilet paper. Can God be known? Yes! Does He use every means available? Yes! Our story is God reaching down to us, not our searching for and then "discovering" God.
I'm also continually amazed by God's mystery. This morning I was reading a devotion by Selwyn Hughes, a British author and teacher who wrote a daily devotion, "Every Day with Jesus," which encircled the globe during his lifetime. Hughes encouraged readers to dig deeper into God's character because one could never penetrate the depths of it. I had the privilege of meeting Selwyn toward the end of his life as he battled cancer, never once asking, "Why me?" I quoted Job 2:10 in my book: "Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" Can God ever give us enough that we're satisfied with His bountiful supply?
That was Layton's question (the main character in the book, except, of course for God!) and ours as well. Can we allow the ways of God to be unfathomable and yet know Him intimately? The secret of living between the ditches.
This blog has been my diary of sorts, charting the book's birth, story line, and character development. I've had time to reflect more on my journey into the paradox of "We can know God. God is mystery." I'm more firmly convinced than ever that you can't have one truth without the other.
I recently read a brief testimony by Ravi Zacharias, well-known author and biblical apologist from India. He became a Christian through hearing one sentence spoken by Jesus and recorded in the Bible. When he heard Jesus' words, he knew he had heard Truth (Jn. 8:32). I'm continually amazed that people all over the world hear a sliver of the gospel message and have a transformational experience with God. For example, a Vietnamese Christian became a believer because he was cleaning toilets in a prison. One of the guards had received a Bible and was tearing out its pages, using each one as toilet paper. Can God be known? Yes! Does He use every means available? Yes! Our story is God reaching down to us, not our searching for and then "discovering" God.
I'm also continually amazed by God's mystery. This morning I was reading a devotion by Selwyn Hughes, a British author and teacher who wrote a daily devotion, "Every Day with Jesus," which encircled the globe during his lifetime. Hughes encouraged readers to dig deeper into God's character because one could never penetrate the depths of it. I had the privilege of meeting Selwyn toward the end of his life as he battled cancer, never once asking, "Why me?" I quoted Job 2:10 in my book: "Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" Can God ever give us enough that we're satisfied with His bountiful supply?
That was Layton's question (the main character in the book, except, of course for God!) and ours as well. Can we allow the ways of God to be unfathomable and yet know Him intimately? The secret of living between the ditches.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
It's Why I Write, After All
Sometimes I think I write because I have no choice. The words fill my brain and have to come out—especially the stories—or my mind will explode. At other times I'm reminded it's not about me but about the readers. When I hear how God is using Living Between the Ditches in people's lives, I realize I've been a small part of God's plan. What an honor!
Today I received an e-mail from a new friend named Mary. I had sent her a box full of books to give to soldiers through their chaplains at the base near where she lives. She's just gotten into my book but here's what she thinks so far:
"I am reading your book right now for my daily devotion and have been so spell bound reading it. I have used the spiritual paradox that we can know God, yet at the same time, He is still a mystery on numerous occasions. I have just so caught on to that thought. He wants us to know Him personally and intimately, yet He still remains a mystery to us. His ways are not our ways, which is mysterious to us. It's really just a wonderful book. I am on Chapter 5 now.
"I love the story of Layton, Amy, and Brianne that you have weaving along with the truth you are teaching. It just adds to the message in a real way that one can identify with. I can't wait to see how all of that turns out!
I believe the Chaplains who are receiving them will be inspired with messages from your book to share with their troops. Thank you so much for generously giving them to me to distribute.
I feel many will be blessed by "Living Between the Ditches," more than you will ever know. We know God will work in and through it or He would not have inspired you to write it. It has certainly blessed me. I am enjoying reading God's message written through you!"
Thank you Mary for giving me encouragement to continue book 2 in the series. Please join me in praying that my book can bless many service men and women over the coming months. It's why I write, after all.
Today I received an e-mail from a new friend named Mary. I had sent her a box full of books to give to soldiers through their chaplains at the base near where she lives. She's just gotten into my book but here's what she thinks so far:
"I am reading your book right now for my daily devotion and have been so spell bound reading it. I have used the spiritual paradox that we can know God, yet at the same time, He is still a mystery on numerous occasions. I have just so caught on to that thought. He wants us to know Him personally and intimately, yet He still remains a mystery to us. His ways are not our ways, which is mysterious to us. It's really just a wonderful book. I am on Chapter 5 now.
"I love the story of Layton, Amy, and Brianne that you have weaving along with the truth you are teaching. It just adds to the message in a real way that one can identify with. I can't wait to see how all of that turns out!
I believe the Chaplains who are receiving them will be inspired with messages from your book to share with their troops. Thank you so much for generously giving them to me to distribute.
I feel many will be blessed by "Living Between the Ditches," more than you will ever know. We know God will work in and through it or He would not have inspired you to write it. It has certainly blessed me. I am enjoying reading God's message written through you!"
Thank you Mary for giving me encouragement to continue book 2 in the series. Please join me in praying that my book can bless many service men and women over the coming months. It's why I write, after all.
Monday, March 29, 2010
What Do An Actress, a Publisher, and a Pastor's Wife Have in Common?
No, this isn't a trick question or the answer to a riddle. Instead I've added some additional reader comments. The first name you might recognize if you're into sitcom re-runs or have a long memory. And yes, I actually know her!
Dr. Betty Hassler has written the book I’ve been living recently. For much of my Christian life, I have felt very comfortable with God in a box, albeit, a structure built on Bible-based principles. A few years ago, God jumped out of my box and invited me to follow Him into the Mystery of a wild and wonderful life lived most fully by holding His hand. Living Between the Ditches is a masterful invitation to know God as Truth and Grace, Rock and Breath, Eternally and In-the-Moment…but always as Love.
Lisa Whelchel
Actress and Author of the best-sellers, Creative Correction and The Facts of Life and Other Lessons My Father Taught Me. Dallas, TX
In Living Between the Ditches, Dr. Betty Hassler helps people grasp the wonder, the complexity, and the mystery of following Christ. Too often well-meaning teachers try to blend and balance opposing biblical truths, robbing them of their power. Keeping them opposite is a source of depth and strength in spiritual life. They become ditches when we focus only on one to the exclusion of the other. Some people won't like this book because it doesn't present easy, prepackaged formulas of spiritual life, but many will find it uplifting, insightful, and rewarding.
Pat Springle, author, president of Baxter Press and former senior vice-president of Rapha Treatment Centers, Friendswood, TX
Dr. Betty Hassler’s fascinating book, Living Between the Ditches, is a must-read for any Christian who lives in an imperfect world. This author has a way with words. She combines her literary genius with wisdom from life experience and personal familiarity with the God of the universe. Result? A fun read with depth and heart. As a child of God who has personally felt His loving rescue from the ditches of life, I can assure you that this book will inspire you. It will reaffirm the truth that God loves us enough to help us keep balance during stressful days of our lives. What a God! And what a book! Thanks, Dr. Betty, for the reminder.
Diana Davis, Author of Fresh Ideas—1000 Ways to Grow a Thriving & Energetic Church, Fresh Ideas for Women’s Ministry, Deacon Wives, speaker and women’s ministries conference leader, Indianapolis, IN
Dr. Betty Hassler has written the book I’ve been living recently. For much of my Christian life, I have felt very comfortable with God in a box, albeit, a structure built on Bible-based principles. A few years ago, God jumped out of my box and invited me to follow Him into the Mystery of a wild and wonderful life lived most fully by holding His hand. Living Between the Ditches is a masterful invitation to know God as Truth and Grace, Rock and Breath, Eternally and In-the-Moment…but always as Love.
Lisa Whelchel
Actress and Author of the best-sellers, Creative Correction and The Facts of Life and Other Lessons My Father Taught Me. Dallas, TX
In Living Between the Ditches, Dr. Betty Hassler helps people grasp the wonder, the complexity, and the mystery of following Christ. Too often well-meaning teachers try to blend and balance opposing biblical truths, robbing them of their power. Keeping them opposite is a source of depth and strength in spiritual life. They become ditches when we focus only on one to the exclusion of the other. Some people won't like this book because it doesn't present easy, prepackaged formulas of spiritual life, but many will find it uplifting, insightful, and rewarding.
Pat Springle, author, president of Baxter Press and former senior vice-president of Rapha Treatment Centers, Friendswood, TX
Dr. Betty Hassler’s fascinating book, Living Between the Ditches, is a must-read for any Christian who lives in an imperfect world. This author has a way with words. She combines her literary genius with wisdom from life experience and personal familiarity with the God of the universe. Result? A fun read with depth and heart. As a child of God who has personally felt His loving rescue from the ditches of life, I can assure you that this book will inspire you. It will reaffirm the truth that God loves us enough to help us keep balance during stressful days of our lives. What a God! And what a book! Thanks, Dr. Betty, for the reminder.
Diana Davis, Author of Fresh Ideas—1000 Ways to Grow a Thriving & Energetic Church, Fresh Ideas for Women’s Ministry, Deacon Wives, speaker and women’s ministries conference leader, Indianapolis, IN
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